Holding my head up.
Walking down that path.
I did what I did.
But I didn't do my best.
I could have done better.
I could have tried harder.
I could have started earlier.
And not waited so long.
I regret those things.
But I won't hold on to those regrets for long.
Although the distance ahead is foggy.
And I don't know where it leads.
I have to keep my head up high.
And keep walking down my path.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
*sigh
This thing
We call life
It's pretty difficult
Trying to see the good
Triumph over the bad
Sometimes the waiting
Feels like infinity
We call life
It's pretty difficult
Trying to see the good
Triumph over the bad
Sometimes the waiting
Feels like infinity
Should I stay or should I go..
I wrote this three weeks ago... Just two days after my 13th wedding anniversary...
He says he will love me forever...
But he cant be with me forever.
He keeps saying that nobody has to leave.
But I don't see how I'm supposed to get through this if I stay.
It would be like dangling from a bungee cord
made of emotions
Tears and pain... Sorrow and grief.
Hope and love.
Dropping me through little pockets of sadness to the truth at the bottom.
Only then bouncing me right back up into the hope of love at the top.
A shimmer of light. Looking for his hand to pull me back up.
With each descent that light fades
Getting farther and farther away.
Never as close as the time before.
Until I ultimately am left dangling.
Dangling ever so slightly above the infinite bottom.
Waiting for something to pull me back up.
To save me from this nightmare.
He says he will love me forever...
But he cant be with me forever.
He keeps saying that nobody has to leave.
But I don't see how I'm supposed to get through this if I stay.
It would be like dangling from a bungee cord
made of emotions
Tears and pain... Sorrow and grief.
Hope and love.
Dropping me through little pockets of sadness to the truth at the bottom.
Only then bouncing me right back up into the hope of love at the top.
A shimmer of light. Looking for his hand to pull me back up.
With each descent that light fades
Getting farther and farther away.
Never as close as the time before.
Until I ultimately am left dangling.
Dangling ever so slightly above the infinite bottom.
Waiting for something to pull me back up.
To save me from this nightmare.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Conflicted
It's still incomprehensible that this is actually happening. I really don't understand all of this. I'm confused. So confused. One moment you are done and the next moment you seem jealous. I wish everything was better. Not that I even know what that really means. Maybe for you to change your mind. For you to still love me. I used to have confidence that you and I would always be together. That you would always love me and want to be with me. But that confidence is gone. I don't know what to do. Heart and mind conflicted.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
All alone...
I spend a lot of time alone.
Alone in my office at work.
Alone in my car.
Alone in my room at home.
Nobody to talk to.
Just me. Alone. By myself.
Alone in my office at work.
Alone in my car.
Alone in my room at home.
Nobody to talk to.
Just me. Alone. By myself.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
This sucks...
You say you love me
But I'm just not worth the effort any more.
You're done.
It's clear.
Thanks for breaking your promise.
But I'm just not worth the effort any more.
You're done.
It's clear.
Thanks for breaking your promise.
I wish
I wish.
I wish you still loved me
The way I still love you.
I wish you still wanted me
The way I still want you.
I wish you still found me beautiful
The way you did when we first met.
I wish we could be together forever
The way we promised each other.
I wish.
I wish you still loved me
The way I still love you.
I wish you still wanted me
The way I still want you.
I wish you still found me beautiful
The way you did when we first met.
I wish we could be together forever
The way we promised each other.
I wish.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Paula Deen riding things!
So I happened upon a website called Paula Deen Riding Things the other day.
Funny stuff. Sometimes I design products for her brand where I work. She loves butter ya'll.
So I had to give it a try. Here it is...
Paula Deen riding the Tardis.
This ride is as smooth as butter ya'll!
Funny stuff. Sometimes I design products for her brand where I work. She loves butter ya'll.
So I had to give it a try. Here it is...
Paula Deen riding the Tardis.
This ride is as smooth as butter ya'll!
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Another food dream...
So last night I had a dream that I was looking for a job. I went to the Subway that I used to work at in my old uniform. The layout of the place was different and there was a fish tank in the front window. My old boss Jody was there and a bunch of young girls hanging out. I guess they were recruits or something. They were behind the counter, but none of them were in uniform. I told Jody that I still had a job as an artist and I just needed some extra money, so I would work the night shift... no problem. I would just need to learn the new recipes and I would be good to go.
That's all I remember.
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Delicious Dream
Yawn and Good Morning.
I'm freshly awake from a delicious food dream.
A bunch of people were all at this festival type event in a large field.
We we all sitting around large circular tables. There were four other people sitting at my table.
There were people bringing plates of food over and setting them up in the center of the table. Many of the dishes were rice based and Indian. There were many different spices, colors and smells all around. They all seemed to be super delicious with lots and lots of flavor. I put a large spoon of each dish on my plate and began to eat it up. I got up and began to walk around.
There were people everywhere sampling and eating food. There were vendors selling food and accessories. I saw one who was selling Chinese Tea sets, only they were miniature. I continued walking across the field and I came upon a booth. The booth was sort of like a old phone booth, only it was a round tube shaped with a door space cut out. The whole booth was made of thick clear acrylic. I went inside and and there were clear acrylic shelves lined with Grey Goose bottles. I sat down on a little acrylic seat and watched as clear tubes pumped some sort of pressurized air or liquid towards the bottoms of the bottles. As the carbonated substance reached the bottles they all began to erupt like Champagne. I sat inside the booth and laughed as the carbonated liquor rained down over me. I grabbed a glass and drank some of it.
I decided to walk back to my table and tell the people who were sitting with me. When I returned they were all done eating and the food was gone. But I had brought dessert. I put a fruit crisp of some sort out on the table and they began to dig in. I tried to tell everyone about the awesome and invigorating Vodka shower I had, but the weren't listening. The event was wrapping up and everyone was leaving. I walked back over to the Grey Goose acrylic booth and there was a man pouring out a bunch of liquor bottles into a black trash bag. I asked him why he was doing that and he said he couldn't take them back with him. So I asked if I could have one, and he told me he couldn't be paid for them. Then he just stared at me. So I offered him some money and he went back to pouring out the bottles.
I woke up.
The End.
I'm freshly awake from a delicious food dream.
A bunch of people were all at this festival type event in a large field.
We we all sitting around large circular tables. There were four other people sitting at my table.
There were people bringing plates of food over and setting them up in the center of the table. Many of the dishes were rice based and Indian. There were many different spices, colors and smells all around. They all seemed to be super delicious with lots and lots of flavor. I put a large spoon of each dish on my plate and began to eat it up. I got up and began to walk around.
There were people everywhere sampling and eating food. There were vendors selling food and accessories. I saw one who was selling Chinese Tea sets, only they were miniature. I continued walking across the field and I came upon a booth. The booth was sort of like a old phone booth, only it was a round tube shaped with a door space cut out. The whole booth was made of thick clear acrylic. I went inside and and there were clear acrylic shelves lined with Grey Goose bottles. I sat down on a little acrylic seat and watched as clear tubes pumped some sort of pressurized air or liquid towards the bottoms of the bottles. As the carbonated substance reached the bottles they all began to erupt like Champagne. I sat inside the booth and laughed as the carbonated liquor rained down over me. I grabbed a glass and drank some of it.I decided to walk back to my table and tell the people who were sitting with me. When I returned they were all done eating and the food was gone. But I had brought dessert. I put a fruit crisp of some sort out on the table and they began to dig in. I tried to tell everyone about the awesome and invigorating Vodka shower I had, but the weren't listening. The event was wrapping up and everyone was leaving. I walked back over to the Grey Goose acrylic booth and there was a man pouring out a bunch of liquor bottles into a black trash bag. I asked him why he was doing that and he said he couldn't take them back with him. So I asked if I could have one, and he told me he couldn't be paid for them. Then he just stared at me. So I offered him some money and he went back to pouring out the bottles.
I woke up.
The End.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
A little bit of Zazzle Recognition!
 | Yay Me! My product, Cute Vampire Bat Totes, has been hand-picked as an example of creativity at its finest. Out of the billions of designs on Zazzle, mine was chosen as one of the best. I'm so excited! As a reward, my product will appear at the top of the page listed below in the "Featured Designs" section for approximately 2 weeks. This means my product and my store will be center stage! |
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Awesome Dream
So I had another totally awesome dream last night.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love dreaming.
So anyway, I was hanging out with some friends in some sort of train station.
We were all banging away at some metal trying to fix something.
Then roaring down the tracks came these giant motorcycles and a 3 wheeler.
They were monster truck size and they were super loud.
As they road past one of them did a wheelie and crashed.
The dude just got up and was fine.
So everyone goes back to work, welding and banging and whatever.
I ask one of the guys to borrow something, maybe a tool , and I guess I'm not supposed to have it but he lets me anyway. I walk around the train station / mechanic shop, which is also now some sort of library, and I start to hear music.
I realize its the Time Warp and I just have to start dancing. How can you NOT dance to the Time Warp! So I start with a jump to the left and then a step to the right, put my hands on my hips and bend my knees in tight. One by one the whole shop starts dancing and singing. We all fall down at the end just as 3 people are walking up to the shop. They look at us like we are all crazy or something then we all get up laughing and chatting happily.
The End.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love dreaming.
So anyway, I was hanging out with some friends in some sort of train station.
We were all banging away at some metal trying to fix something.
Then roaring down the tracks came these giant motorcycles and a 3 wheeler.
They were monster truck size and they were super loud.
As they road past one of them did a wheelie and crashed.
The dude just got up and was fine.
So everyone goes back to work, welding and banging and whatever.
I ask one of the guys to borrow something, maybe a tool , and I guess I'm not supposed to have it but he lets me anyway. I walk around the train station / mechanic shop, which is also now some sort of library, and I start to hear music.
I realize its the Time Warp and I just have to start dancing. How can you NOT dance to the Time Warp! So I start with a jump to the left and then a step to the right, put my hands on my hips and bend my knees in tight. One by one the whole shop starts dancing and singing. We all fall down at the end just as 3 people are walking up to the shop. They look at us like we are all crazy or something then we all get up laughing and chatting happily.
The End.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Love Alone
Love alone can not undo
that which has been done.
A heart that's broken
a soul that's torn.
A beautiful rose
with the deadliest thorn.
The slightest prick
can make you bleed.
A little more time
that's all you need.
You can't take back
the decisions you've made.
This wound may heal
But the scar will never fade.
that which has been done.
A heart that's broken
a soul that's torn.
A beautiful rose
with the deadliest thorn.
The slightest prick
can make you bleed.
A little more time
that's all you need.
You can't take back
the decisions you've made.
This wound may heal
But the scar will never fade.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Grrrr...
Grrr... so my website randomly just disappears. My emails are being totally random and frustrating. Too much spam clogging the system.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Dreams are funny that way...
So I just woke up...
I've still been having some cooky dreams... I love my dreams.
This morning around 1 am I wake up to my husband, Dave, laughing really loud all the way at the other end of the house. I go check it out and he's just watching RoboDoc. I was kinda mad... I love sleep... and he just disturbed it. Grrr.
I wander back to bed and awake a little while later to this gem of a dream....
Dave had finally come to be and I could hear my daughter Shampagne making noises down the hallway... I couldn't understand her... she told me to leave her alone and mumbled some other stuff... I go to check on her to make sure everything is ok and I step out into the hallway... as soon as I do my whole body goes numb and I can see that some dark shadow is holding me up. I look up and Shampagne is stumbling down the hall gasping for breath... an intruder had cut her throat and now he had a hold of me and I was paralyzed.... I woke up...
I didn't dare get out of bed and go check on things... I went back to sleep...
Then briefly I remember living in a condo by the sea... the kids were all grown and gone... I was baby sitting the cutest little dog that belonged to Rober Downey Jr. The I walk over to the sliding glass doors that face the ocean and admire the beauty. As I watch it the waves start to get closer and closer to the back porch. Suddenly the water level just rose and flooded the whole kitchen and living room downstairs. For some crazy reason we had a shower drain in the middle of the kitchen floor and most of the water had drained away. We started to squeegee all the water back outside.
Later when the alarm went off, I hit the snooze button... ugh... I don't want to wake up...
That's when I had this little dream... sort of made me laugh....
I was at work. Kat and I were working away and in comes our co-worker Dan. Dan is a saleman and he needs a revision on some art. He walks over and says.... "Hey what's new?" I say "I had a nightmare, It was pretty funny" Then he says "I need this red to be more of a neon color." I just looked at him and said... "we can't make neon, no neon. Kat?" She says "Nope we can't make it look more neon. There is no RGB color for neon red." I look at Dan and say "Nope. No RGB neon red."
That was it.
I think I may have forgotten bits and pieces... but that is the jist of it all...
Now for some coffee...
Later,
I've still been having some cooky dreams... I love my dreams.
This morning around 1 am I wake up to my husband, Dave, laughing really loud all the way at the other end of the house. I go check it out and he's just watching RoboDoc. I was kinda mad... I love sleep... and he just disturbed it. Grrr.
I wander back to bed and awake a little while later to this gem of a dream....
Dave had finally come to be and I could hear my daughter Shampagne making noises down the hallway... I couldn't understand her... she told me to leave her alone and mumbled some other stuff... I go to check on her to make sure everything is ok and I step out into the hallway... as soon as I do my whole body goes numb and I can see that some dark shadow is holding me up. I look up and Shampagne is stumbling down the hall gasping for breath... an intruder had cut her throat and now he had a hold of me and I was paralyzed.... I woke up...
I didn't dare get out of bed and go check on things... I went back to sleep...
Then briefly I remember living in a condo by the sea... the kids were all grown and gone... I was baby sitting the cutest little dog that belonged to Rober Downey Jr. The I walk over to the sliding glass doors that face the ocean and admire the beauty. As I watch it the waves start to get closer and closer to the back porch. Suddenly the water level just rose and flooded the whole kitchen and living room downstairs. For some crazy reason we had a shower drain in the middle of the kitchen floor and most of the water had drained away. We started to squeegee all the water back outside.
Later when the alarm went off, I hit the snooze button... ugh... I don't want to wake up...
That's when I had this little dream... sort of made me laugh....
I was at work. Kat and I were working away and in comes our co-worker Dan. Dan is a saleman and he needs a revision on some art. He walks over and says.... "Hey what's new?" I say "I had a nightmare, It was pretty funny" Then he says "I need this red to be more of a neon color." I just looked at him and said... "we can't make neon, no neon. Kat?" She says "Nope we can't make it look more neon. There is no RGB color for neon red." I look at Dan and say "Nope. No RGB neon red."
That was it.
I think I may have forgotten bits and pieces... but that is the jist of it all...
Now for some coffee...
Later,
Monday, September 14, 2009
Zazzle Today's Best Award
This happy and colorful rainbow transforms into piano keys as it springs forth from a musical fluffy cloud surrounded by music notes and colorful stars.
Today Best September 14, 2009
Today Best September 14, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Crazy Dreams
Heya everyone!
So I've been having crazy dreams lately.
Last night I could float across water. That was pretty cool.
Then for some reason I got shot in the stomach. My intestines were falling out and I kept having to put them back in the little hole. Eventually I found a place to rest and it healed up nicely.
Crazy crazy. I love my dreams.
So I've been having crazy dreams lately.
Last night I could float across water. That was pretty cool.
Then for some reason I got shot in the stomach. My intestines were falling out and I kept having to put them back in the little hole. Eventually I found a place to rest and it healed up nicely.
Crazy crazy. I love my dreams.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Another Month gone by...
Hey everyone! Just thought I'd make a post since another month has gotten away from me!
Been making websites and creating designs for friends' sites. Takes up lots of the spare time I used to have.
I do however want to share a new POD with you guys. I don't have all of my designs up there yet... but they do offer some great new products that you won't find at any other POD.
Mendi @ ArtsNow
I'm also getting ready for my favorite holiday!
HALLOWEEN! YAY!
Check out my newest Halloween design at my Zazzle store!
Catch ya later!
Been making websites and creating designs for friends' sites. Takes up lots of the spare time I used to have.
I do however want to share a new POD with you guys. I don't have all of my designs up there yet... but they do offer some great new products that you won't find at any other POD.
Mendi @ ArtsNow
I'm also getting ready for my favorite holiday!
HALLOWEEN! YAY!
Check out my newest Halloween design at my Zazzle store!
Catch ya later!
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Busy Busy Bee
Hey everyone!
OMG... I skipped a month with no posts.... I know I'm a slacker on that. I am just busy as a little bee this summer. I've got lots to share... but I haven't got enough time this morning to talk about all of it. I've got to get ready to go to work.... filling in for a friend who is on vacation. She deserves it!
Anyways... the newsletter will go out later today... and I will also be putting up new choices for FREE STUFF. So definitely check your email... and check back here as well.
Yay.
Love,
OMG... I skipped a month with no posts.... I know I'm a slacker on that. I am just busy as a little bee this summer. I've got lots to share... but I haven't got enough time this morning to talk about all of it. I've got to get ready to go to work.... filling in for a friend who is on vacation. She deserves it!
Anyways... the newsletter will go out later today... and I will also be putting up new choices for FREE STUFF. So definitely check your email... and check back here as well.
Yay.
Love,
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