Sometimes I think that I should delete all those unhappy posts...
But then that would be like trying to deny that those feelings weren't real at the time.
I don't feel like that anymore. And that is a great feeling.
But I don't ever want to forget the way I was... So I can better appreciate the way I am now.
This life is a complicated mess.
I still don't know what I'm doing
Or where I'm going.
How do I move on?
Where do I go from here?
When when when
Will this get better?
When will I feel better?
Why is this happening?
Why is he doing this to me?
This is me
Alone and lonely.
I still have this overwhelming grief
Inside my heart and soul
Probably going to lose my job soon too
I can't focus on anything but my pain
All my decisions are wrong
All of my choices are epic fails
I don't want to be here
This life is not mine
Today has been a struggle for me.
The thought of losing my husband has been unbearable. The rejection and pain is enormous. I don't know how to move on when I don't want to move on. I just want him to love me like he promised. I keep praying for death to take me. I can't stand the pain. I just want it to all be over. But I can't do it on my own. So ill just sit here and drink these beers. Hide myself under this alcohol. Wait until I pass out. And hope I don't wake up.